I just wanted to check in with a short post. I am having problems again with writing real posts. I have a post partly written but I just am not in the mood much to write it all up.
Its starting to get colder so that means much less pollen, so that will help my allergies a little bit. Because of so many months of my nose and sinuses being totally over-tweaked by pollen it takes a while for them to calm down though. Also, when heating systems start to come on, they tend to kick up some dust and that can bother me too.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Sunday, October 3, 2010
People can be mean
I had mentioned in an earlier post about people being mean and I think someone asked for me to write more about it. I am going to post here a few of my experiences with people who suck and/or don't really seem to care about other people.
I can split these people into 3 categories. Some who think they are being funny and say stuff in public areas, some who just don't care/understand and are mean because of that, and some who are just deliberately mean.
Sometimes I would hate the public people the most because it can feel the most embarrassing. Many times in high school, but also some in college or in other public places where many people are around, some would yell out stuff. I would start sneezing and after a number of sneezes, people would laugh, and someone would yell "BLESS YOU!" loudly many times. Some people might yell "why are you sneezing so much?", or "OMG! Just stop!", or other things like that. I hate all the attention that draws to me. The worst was sometimes at lunch in HS, I wold have a very long fit and the lunchroom would start to get all quiet because everyone was listening to me and looking at me and laughing. Sometimes I really wanted to cry from embarrassment. I can deal with it better now. I do run off to the bathroom often when I start having a fit in public. I tend to miss parts of many movies.
I have had to deal with many people who just didn't care. I would go to someones house and they had an animal that I was allergic to, or just something in the house would set me off. They say that I will get used to it in a bit, or my allergies would calm down, or that I was making too big a deal. If I didn't have a ride sometimes I would sit there feeling and looking miserable and not be able to get away. I also knew some people who didn't believe I was allergic to something or think that maybe it was all in my head. They hid the animal, or flowers or whatever before I came over. My allergies would get worse and worse and I had no idea why. Then they say "Oh, we didn't think you were really allergic to it"
There were a few people who deliberately set off my allergies because they wanted to upset me or mess something up for me, or I guess they were just plain mean. The main one was someone in HS who just really hated my guts. She blamed me for stuff that wasn't even my fault and kept trying to get back at me. She discovered she could set off my allergies at really bad times for me. I didn't find this all out until much later. Once she did it before I was going to meet up with a guy I was interested in. My allergies got so bad that it screwed it all up. One time she stole the tissue box out of my backpack and in class when I started having a bad sneezing fit I couldn't find them and I had to keep sneezing into my hands and I couldn't deal with the snottiness and dripping and everything and that was really horrible and embarrassing! Another time she got a hold of my tissue box and put dust or pollen or something all around in there. Of course I was using the tissues and not knowing so I kept getting worse and worse all day and I had no clue why. That one was really miserable!
I have had people tell me my allergies were bothering them, my sneezing was a disruption, that I should be able to control them better, or that I was deliberately exaggerating them. They all really suck! I don't get why people have to be like that. Its not as bad as it was in high school, but I think some people just don't get it. I wish they would.
I can split these people into 3 categories. Some who think they are being funny and say stuff in public areas, some who just don't care/understand and are mean because of that, and some who are just deliberately mean.
Sometimes I would hate the public people the most because it can feel the most embarrassing. Many times in high school, but also some in college or in other public places where many people are around, some would yell out stuff. I would start sneezing and after a number of sneezes, people would laugh, and someone would yell "BLESS YOU!" loudly many times. Some people might yell "why are you sneezing so much?", or "OMG! Just stop!", or other things like that. I hate all the attention that draws to me. The worst was sometimes at lunch in HS, I wold have a very long fit and the lunchroom would start to get all quiet because everyone was listening to me and looking at me and laughing. Sometimes I really wanted to cry from embarrassment. I can deal with it better now. I do run off to the bathroom often when I start having a fit in public. I tend to miss parts of many movies.
I have had to deal with many people who just didn't care. I would go to someones house and they had an animal that I was allergic to, or just something in the house would set me off. They say that I will get used to it in a bit, or my allergies would calm down, or that I was making too big a deal. If I didn't have a ride sometimes I would sit there feeling and looking miserable and not be able to get away. I also knew some people who didn't believe I was allergic to something or think that maybe it was all in my head. They hid the animal, or flowers or whatever before I came over. My allergies would get worse and worse and I had no idea why. Then they say "Oh, we didn't think you were really allergic to it"
There were a few people who deliberately set off my allergies because they wanted to upset me or mess something up for me, or I guess they were just plain mean. The main one was someone in HS who just really hated my guts. She blamed me for stuff that wasn't even my fault and kept trying to get back at me. She discovered she could set off my allergies at really bad times for me. I didn't find this all out until much later. Once she did it before I was going to meet up with a guy I was interested in. My allergies got so bad that it screwed it all up. One time she stole the tissue box out of my backpack and in class when I started having a bad sneezing fit I couldn't find them and I had to keep sneezing into my hands and I couldn't deal with the snottiness and dripping and everything and that was really horrible and embarrassing! Another time she got a hold of my tissue box and put dust or pollen or something all around in there. Of course I was using the tissues and not knowing so I kept getting worse and worse all day and I had no clue why. That one was really miserable!
I have had people tell me my allergies were bothering them, my sneezing was a disruption, that I should be able to control them better, or that I was deliberately exaggerating them. They all really suck! I don't get why people have to be like that. Its not as bad as it was in high school, but I think some people just don't get it. I wish they would.
Quick update
Sorry I haven't made a blog entry in a while. I have still been feeling stuck. I am in the process of making 2 entries. I just have been going slow with writing them.
This weekend was pretty icky for me. Yesterday I was sneezing for almost 15mins straight. That really takes alot out of me. Its so hard when I am sneezing for so long. I just want it to stop but it feels like it will go on forever. Its so exhausting too. I can't even do anything else during it. I just keep sneezing and sneezing and it feels like I have no control.
I also didn't get much sleep at all last night. My allergies were too bad for me to sleep more than like 10-15mins at a time and then I'd be awake for a long time in between.
At least when winter comes these things don't really happen that much. That constant pollen allergy isn't there so its a bit easier for me to avoid many of the other things I am allergic to.
This weekend was pretty icky for me. Yesterday I was sneezing for almost 15mins straight. That really takes alot out of me. Its so hard when I am sneezing for so long. I just want it to stop but it feels like it will go on forever. Its so exhausting too. I can't even do anything else during it. I just keep sneezing and sneezing and it feels like I have no control.
I also didn't get much sleep at all last night. My allergies were too bad for me to sleep more than like 10-15mins at a time and then I'd be awake for a long time in between.
At least when winter comes these things don't really happen that much. That constant pollen allergy isn't there so its a bit easier for me to avoid many of the other things I am allergic to.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Today's notes, possibly TMI
My allergies and my PMS seem to make each other worse. I have to deal with PMS for about a week leading up to my period. Often my allergies seem worse during that time. Maybe I just notice more/it annoys me more though. I will spare you the details, but all my sneezing also makes things hurt more and be more ouchy. I hate it! :(
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Discovering my horse allergy
This happened when I was about 14. I didn't know yet I was allergic to horses. Maybe I was tested for it, but back then I was really in denial about my allergies so I didn't pay attention to alot of stuff.
Some friends wanted to go horseback riding, and I had never done it before so I thought it would be cool to try. Being spring, pollen was bothering me some, but I was just mainly sniffling and had some sneezing. I hated using tissues back then and I usually could just sniffle and be ok, so I just kept a few tissues in my pocket.
We got there and everything was ok for a while. A few minutes after we got on the horses, I noticed that my nose was getting very stuffy and it was tingling pretty badly. My nose started to run more and I was trying not to sneeze. Eventually I couldn't keep from sneezing because of this constant tingle all inside my nose. I kept having sneezing fits while we were going around on the trail. People kept asking me if I was ok, and I would just nod yes because I didn't want them to hear me sounding all stuffy. My nose was too runny and I went through the few tissues I had pretty quickly. I kept on wiping my nose on the inside of my shirt and I was trying really hard not to let anyone see my nose being snotty. My friends kept looking at me when I kept sneezing and I could tell that they felt kinda bad for me and I just felt more and more embarrassed because I couldn't go run off anywhere.
By the end of the trip I was feeling miserable and I probably looked it too. As soon as we got off the horses, I told my friends that I would be in the car. My nose and sinuses were all stuffed up and my eyes were all itchy and puffy and watery. I got in the car and I just kept sneezing and sneezing. I couldn't find any tissues so I kept sneezing inside my shirt and kept trying to wipe my nose as much as I could.
I was bad like that the whole trip home. My friends kept asking how I was and they were acting all concerned and I was really wishing I could be away from everyone. I wanted to die from embarrassment. They were going to hang out but I asked them to drop me off at home 1st. They did and I just went into my room and felt pretty miserable for the rest of the day.
Since then, I haven't ridden on a horse and I haven't been around any that much. Out of curiosity I have been around one for a bit every year or so just to see if I am still allergic (I do that with most things I am allergic to that I usually can avoid), and I am.
Some friends wanted to go horseback riding, and I had never done it before so I thought it would be cool to try. Being spring, pollen was bothering me some, but I was just mainly sniffling and had some sneezing. I hated using tissues back then and I usually could just sniffle and be ok, so I just kept a few tissues in my pocket.
We got there and everything was ok for a while. A few minutes after we got on the horses, I noticed that my nose was getting very stuffy and it was tingling pretty badly. My nose started to run more and I was trying not to sneeze. Eventually I couldn't keep from sneezing because of this constant tingle all inside my nose. I kept having sneezing fits while we were going around on the trail. People kept asking me if I was ok, and I would just nod yes because I didn't want them to hear me sounding all stuffy. My nose was too runny and I went through the few tissues I had pretty quickly. I kept on wiping my nose on the inside of my shirt and I was trying really hard not to let anyone see my nose being snotty. My friends kept looking at me when I kept sneezing and I could tell that they felt kinda bad for me and I just felt more and more embarrassed because I couldn't go run off anywhere.
By the end of the trip I was feeling miserable and I probably looked it too. As soon as we got off the horses, I told my friends that I would be in the car. My nose and sinuses were all stuffed up and my eyes were all itchy and puffy and watery. I got in the car and I just kept sneezing and sneezing. I couldn't find any tissues so I kept sneezing inside my shirt and kept trying to wipe my nose as much as I could.
I was bad like that the whole trip home. My friends kept asking how I was and they were acting all concerned and I was really wishing I could be away from everyone. I wanted to die from embarrassment. They were going to hang out but I asked them to drop me off at home 1st. They did and I just went into my room and felt pretty miserable for the rest of the day.
Since then, I haven't ridden on a horse and I haven't been around any that much. Out of curiosity I have been around one for a bit every year or so just to see if I am still allergic (I do that with most things I am allergic to that I usually can avoid), and I am.
Quick notes
To help me keep posting, I am starting to post quick notes about things that are allergy-related in some way.
Today I have 2 quick notes:
1. I have noticed over the last few months my nose either feels very warm or very cold much of the time. I have no idea why. It never happened before. Does anyone know why this might happen?
2. Trying to eat a meal when you keep having sneezing fits is very difficult to do!
I will make my next real blog post a bit later tonight. I think I worry over my posts sounding too stupid, being too long or too short, or getting too embarassing.
Today I have 2 quick notes:
1. I have noticed over the last few months my nose either feels very warm or very cold much of the time. I have no idea why. It never happened before. Does anyone know why this might happen?
2. Trying to eat a meal when you keep having sneezing fits is very difficult to do!
I will make my next real blog post a bit later tonight. I think I worry over my posts sounding too stupid, being too long or too short, or getting too embarassing.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
My Symptoms
Since I posted about what I am allergic to, I am also posting about what symptoms I get from my allergies.
I am a bit stuck with what to write next so this is a good tangent. Forgive me if it is a while before I post again, I just don't know why I am a bit stuck with what to write.
Major Symptoms. These are the main symptoms I have pretty much all the time, and they tend to be the ones that affect my life the most.
Sneezing: I sneeze LOTS. I have very long fits, and I have many fits all through the day. Sometimes it feels like I will never stop sneezing. My sneezes aren't overly loud, but because I sneeze so much, its easy for everyone to tell. This is one of the main parts of my allergies that makes me very embarrassed. I will try to run off or duck into a bathroom when I am having a sneezing fit because of the embarrassment I feel. I hate when my sneezing interrupts me trying to have a conversation or when I am trying to do things. Most of the time I feel the need to sneeze to at least some degree. It can either feel like a tickle, thousands of tiny needles, or a tingling. It can be mild or intense and I usually feel it back deep in my nose and sinuses. I know I am going to start sneezing when the feeling starts to spread. Sometimes it doesn't do that though and a fit can hit me by surprise. The one good thing about so much sneezing is that it helps keep my abs in good shape :)
Sinus Congestion: I always have sinus congestion. It can range from not too bad to lots of sinus pressure and pain. It can sometimes hurt to move my head too fast, and often I feel it when I bend forward. On occasion I wish I could drill a hole into my sinuses! Luckily I only get an actual sinus infection one or two times a year.
Nasal Congestion: I am always very congested through most of the year. I am so congested that I usually can't smell anything and I can't really blow my nose or sniffle. It can get extremely annoying. I sound very nasally and that embarrasses me too. Sometimes my noses feels throbby inside because of all the congestion.
Runny Nose: I don't understand how I can have such a runny nose when I am also so congested! Ugh! My nose runs alot. Not being able to sniffle or really blow my nose means I have to wipe my nose all day, sometimes almost constantly. I am REALLY embarrassed about anyone seeing my nose being snotty. Its hard to tell when my sneezing is going to be messy, so I always use tissues or something if there is any chance anyone will see me. I also am always wiping my nose just to make sure no one will be able to see anything being drippy. I just don't understand how my nose can make so much snot!
Other Symptoms. These can bother me to lesser or greater extents, but they tend not to be as big a deal unless my allergies are getting bad.
Itchy/Watery Eyes: When my allergies get bad my eyes can water so much that it looks like I am constantly crying. They also can get very itchy. Sometimes, if they are very watery, itchy and swollen, it makes it harder to see details well, like in reading. I try not to rub them because I know it can make them worse, but sometimes I just have to. I have to be careful when I do rub them because if something I am allergic to is on my hand, it can make my eyes really puff up and swell up and look very bad.
Itchy/Red Nose: I HATE when my nose is all red! Its another thing that embarrasses me a ton. My nose is red very often though, just from all the sneezing and wiping and everything else. Sometimes my nose gets very itchy but I usually am able to not rub it because rubbing my nose will be sure to throw me into a long sneezing fit. It can get very distracting though.
Clogged Ears: When my allergies get really bad, my ears will feel all clogged. Its like having cotton stuffed in my ears, and it makes things I hear sound like it too. I think its this (or maybe sinus congestion too) that sometimes makes me feel a bit dizzy when my allergies are bad.
Different symptoms
I don't think these are direct symptoms of my allergies, but they happen because of my allergies. I feel tired a good deal of the time, it interferes with my sleeping, and I do sometimes get sad or angry about my allergies. I know it affects my moods. Sometimes that can really suck. I think I get overly sensitive emotionally at times because of my allergies.
There are a few other random things, but I will bring them up in other posts if/when I remember them.
I am a bit stuck with what to write next so this is a good tangent. Forgive me if it is a while before I post again, I just don't know why I am a bit stuck with what to write.
Major Symptoms. These are the main symptoms I have pretty much all the time, and they tend to be the ones that affect my life the most.
Sneezing: I sneeze LOTS. I have very long fits, and I have many fits all through the day. Sometimes it feels like I will never stop sneezing. My sneezes aren't overly loud, but because I sneeze so much, its easy for everyone to tell. This is one of the main parts of my allergies that makes me very embarrassed. I will try to run off or duck into a bathroom when I am having a sneezing fit because of the embarrassment I feel. I hate when my sneezing interrupts me trying to have a conversation or when I am trying to do things. Most of the time I feel the need to sneeze to at least some degree. It can either feel like a tickle, thousands of tiny needles, or a tingling. It can be mild or intense and I usually feel it back deep in my nose and sinuses. I know I am going to start sneezing when the feeling starts to spread. Sometimes it doesn't do that though and a fit can hit me by surprise. The one good thing about so much sneezing is that it helps keep my abs in good shape :)
Sinus Congestion: I always have sinus congestion. It can range from not too bad to lots of sinus pressure and pain. It can sometimes hurt to move my head too fast, and often I feel it when I bend forward. On occasion I wish I could drill a hole into my sinuses! Luckily I only get an actual sinus infection one or two times a year.
Nasal Congestion: I am always very congested through most of the year. I am so congested that I usually can't smell anything and I can't really blow my nose or sniffle. It can get extremely annoying. I sound very nasally and that embarrasses me too. Sometimes my noses feels throbby inside because of all the congestion.
Runny Nose: I don't understand how I can have such a runny nose when I am also so congested! Ugh! My nose runs alot. Not being able to sniffle or really blow my nose means I have to wipe my nose all day, sometimes almost constantly. I am REALLY embarrassed about anyone seeing my nose being snotty. Its hard to tell when my sneezing is going to be messy, so I always use tissues or something if there is any chance anyone will see me. I also am always wiping my nose just to make sure no one will be able to see anything being drippy. I just don't understand how my nose can make so much snot!
Other Symptoms. These can bother me to lesser or greater extents, but they tend not to be as big a deal unless my allergies are getting bad.
Itchy/Watery Eyes: When my allergies get bad my eyes can water so much that it looks like I am constantly crying. They also can get very itchy. Sometimes, if they are very watery, itchy and swollen, it makes it harder to see details well, like in reading. I try not to rub them because I know it can make them worse, but sometimes I just have to. I have to be careful when I do rub them because if something I am allergic to is on my hand, it can make my eyes really puff up and swell up and look very bad.
Itchy/Red Nose: I HATE when my nose is all red! Its another thing that embarrasses me a ton. My nose is red very often though, just from all the sneezing and wiping and everything else. Sometimes my nose gets very itchy but I usually am able to not rub it because rubbing my nose will be sure to throw me into a long sneezing fit. It can get very distracting though.
Clogged Ears: When my allergies get really bad, my ears will feel all clogged. Its like having cotton stuffed in my ears, and it makes things I hear sound like it too. I think its this (or maybe sinus congestion too) that sometimes makes me feel a bit dizzy when my allergies are bad.
Different symptoms
I don't think these are direct symptoms of my allergies, but they happen because of my allergies. I feel tired a good deal of the time, it interferes with my sleeping, and I do sometimes get sad or angry about my allergies. I know it affects my moods. Sometimes that can really suck. I think I get overly sensitive emotionally at times because of my allergies.
There are a few other random things, but I will bring them up in other posts if/when I remember them.
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